I've been thinking a little more about that conversation I had with Esther, so a few more quick thoughts on that. I think what really bothered me was seeing how other people perceive Americans, and not knowing how to address it. I want to figure out how to use my time here to represent my country in a positive way.
The Ash Wednesday service last week pretty much epitomized my experience in this country thus far: the electricity went out, and I was confused about 95% of the time (since I went to a Catholic service). But, it was probably the first time I was grateful for the power outage - it meant the service was in candlelight! I thought it was the perfect way to reflect at the beginning of Lent. I've never been a huge fan of giving anything up, but I do like to use the season as a time to think extra hard about what's really important in my life and what I want to improve upon. Thinking back on Jesus' life, and being in a country where I am often without the comforts I am accustomed to at home, makes it impossible not to think about sacrifice, and what I'm willing to do or give up so that someone else may benefit. So, all in all it was nice for once to not have electricity!
I've realized how many things I take for granted at home (milk & milk products, the concept of being able to order pizza/wings at midnight and have them delivered to my door, and others) . . . but I'm also beginning to wonder what things I am taking for granted here that I will miss back home. The other day on the way to my internship, the tro I was on got a flat tire. Amazingly enough, it happened right across the street from a tire stand. Literally, there was a man just sitting there selling a pile of tires. In less than 15 minutes, the mate & driver had jacked up the van (with us all sitting in it!), changed the tire, and got back in the tro to continue on. Most people in the states have a spare tire in their car so that scenario wouldn't be unheard of, but I remembered the time my dad was driving me halfway to my grandparents' house in Florida when we got TWO flat tires. We had to sit and wait in a truck weigh station for several hours until AAA came. It's just kind of funny . . . I figured I'd miss food and friends here when I go back home, but it's just now occurring to me that there might be things I will miss here because of convenience.
Yesterday I went back to the bead factory and wood carving village I had gone to several weeks ago with CIEE. But this time, my friends and I got ourselves there and back on tros. On the way home I realized how much I'm finally settling in to life here. A few weeks ago, every time I went somewhere I would get anxious or frustrated trying to figure things out. I wasn't ever sure how long it would take, and sometimes even if I knew where I was supposed to be going I had a hard time communicating that to a tro mate or taxi driver. But yesterday my friends and I got to and from two different places, made no mistakes, and none of us were even worried about doing it. It hadn't even occurred to me that I might not be able to figure it out or get there eventually, even if it was confusing. I definitely had to take one day at a time to get through the frustrations and challenges of every day. But now I make plans ahead of time, and certain things have become so routine I don't even think about them anymore. So, it was kind of a nice feeling when I realized how quickly I've been able to get to a point of truly feeling comfortable here.
In other happy news, I have my RA job back for next year!!!! I don't have my specific floor placement yet, but I know I'm going to be in Anderson Hall again, which was my first choice. I'll have Erin as my boss again, and apparently most of the staff is going to be returners that I knew from last semester, and some who I hear are great from this semester. I don't have the official list yet, but I'm definitely excited to be working with the people I know of so far. Yay!!
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Congrats on getting your job back for next year! I get a letter of acceptance or denial on Friday... it was super competitive this year there were like 100 people for just a few spots.
I am reallllllly enjoying reading about your conversations with Esther. I'm glad you stayed true to yourself and your opinions during the rape conversation. I understand where they were coming from but I don't think they knew that you understood where they were coming from. It also seemed like they didn't know where you were coming from either.
With the racial conversation, I don't even know what to say. It's so weird to me that she was saying the same things about whites that I've heard closed minded people in the US say about others. I'd like to think about what you had to say more, all I can say is I'm feeling where you're coming from.
Miss ya!
P.S. I'll be in China in about a month and a half!!!! It totally snuck up on me, I'll try and find you something cool there.
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